Tough Decision

I have been battling for weeks over continuing to keep nursing Ayden or to stop. For anyone who has agnoized over this you know what I’m going through. If I was working part-time or at home I wouldn’t even be thinking about this, but working full-time has made it tough. From the day Ayden was born I have been pumping 2-3 times day, and on many days more than that. With everything going on in life it stresses me out. I dread waking up to pump. I miss coffee. I’m not fond of spending so much time in the bathroom at work. While at the same time I know it’s best for Ayden to have breast milk. I think the decision is Monday I will go to the WIC office and change to all formula. Thinking about all of this stresses me out and I’m always almost in tears. I know it’s silly, but it’s a tough decision to make.

Ayden is just getting over a mild case of the flu. It seems that between 5-7 months our kiddos get sick and decide they don’t really want to nurse anymore. He’s going through this right now. Plus, today I forgot my pumping flanges at home so there was no pumping at work today. Since I missed a session anyway why not stop today…right?

That’s been the big mess in my head the past few weeks. I have been trying to do some sewing but time has not allowed. Maybe next week.

6 thoughts on “Tough Decision

  1. I got really stressed out and switched Z to all formula at 9 months, and I really wish I’d just continued to nurse him at morning and night, and just stopped the stressful action of pumping during the day. That’s just my opinion. I plan to be more flexible with this baby with the formula, and hopefully keep some breastmilk in her through her second winter. Is that an option for you?

  2. It might be possible once he gets over being sick and if he’ll let me feed him at night. Maybe I’ll see if I can do that. Maybe my milk suppy would stay up just nursing/pumping twice a day. Sorry, thinking out loud here. Somehow that helps ya know?

  3. I’ve never had a kid so I can’t speak from experience about nursing but I know that it’s not silly. Before she died Princess Grace Kelly became a spokesperson for nursing babies and talked about how she would have preferred to do it longer than she could have.

  4. I went through this exact same thing. I pumped for 8 months and agonized over the decision to stop. Would I be letting my son down if I stopped? Would I be letting myself or my husband down? I’d have to give up the eating-anything-I-want lifestyle (I had a hard time keeping on weight when I was BFing). In the end, I just decided that I had had enough. And I stopped cold turkey (BIG mistake).

    You’ll know when the time is right for you. That doesn’t really make the decision any easier, but you will know. And you’ve done a great thing for your kid by pumping for this long. Good luck!

  5. Hey, I’m a stranger, just popped over from Small Notebook but the link for your last post “Tough Decision” was intriguing enough to make me click on it.

    Just wanted to comment as my heart went out to you. It is such a tough decision whether to stop nursing but I’d second what Mrs Lemon said above – just drop down to morning and night feeds when you’re around ( I just stopped bf my third child). Saves your poor boobs from going cold turkey (never done it but heard it can really hurt) and you’re still giving the wee one all the good immunity stuff, but you’re losing the stress of pumping (I only expressed occasionally when my first child was tiny but found it time-consuming and slightly uncomfortable so kudos to you for doing it for so long).
    Bf is so, so important but so is your own sanity and health so find a balance that works for you. I managed to bf exclusively until 6 months (the curretn advice in soctland) then gradually dropped the milk feeds during the day once they started eating solids (same pattern with all three of mine). By the time we stopped bf (15 months, 14 months, and two years), each baby was down to either just supper or breakfast.
    No stress for them and no pain for me.

    Sorry to stick my nose in when I’ve never been here before – just thought you’d be happy to hear experiences from other bf mums.
    Good luck whatever you decide.
    Karen
    (Scotland)

  6. Although I only work part time, I have the same feelings as you! I just decided to go from 2 pumpings per day at work to 1. I feel that’s ok since my son isn’t too eager to nurse during the day anyway now that he is 11 months. Whatever decision you come to, I am sure that you are doing your best as a mother and that will be good enough! Take care!

    BTW, I found your blog through Small Notebook.

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